WHO I AM?

Mariela Marin

CJC

PD 275

WHO I AM?

     There are many things I like in my life, in general. Some of the stuff that I really like doing is texting through phone. That’s basically everything that I do all day long apart from being with my friends, but that doesn’t fall under the category of like, but LOVE.  I like almost everything, vegetables, sweet things, sour things, you name it I like it, almost everything. I like fruits and at this point in time, I like school. I like the people that surround me day by day, including my family and more importantly, I like myself, for being who I am, for showing the real me and not trying to imitate someone else.

     The things that I really dislike, talking about food, are spinach and flour tortilla. That just can’t pass down my throat for some reason. I totally dislike hypocrites. That is something I don’t appreciate. Actually, I hate hypocrites.  I dislike when teachers give several tasks at a time. I dislike when there is no equal treatment in family and friends; apart from that I don’t have a problem.

     It’s hard for me to see my talents, but up to now, I have realized that I can write poems that others admire and like. I can dance and sing as well. I’m good at playing football and a great DJ.

    I can be more talented, but there is one weakness that I fight with every single day. That is that I’m not an outspoken person. I find it very hard to speak in public and in front of other people that I don’t know. I have this weakness that sometimes really gets to my nerves, but can’t change it. I take things too personally that in the end hurts me and makes me get mad at times.

    There are some things in me that I would consider my strengths. One of them is that I can express myself in the written part, more that in the speaking one. I make friends easily, and another of my strengths is that I try everything, even if I fail in trying I never give up, after all, that’s life, we got to keep trying all the time.

  I consider myself unique since I’m the kind of person that never judge rather learn from other’s mistakes and try not to do them. I’m always there for my friends and family, to cheer them up when they are feeling down. I think I’m extremely friendly. I’m the type of girl that never says never because I love to face reality and in life anything can happen. I am very small in size, but I have a huge heart. I love everyone because I don’t like to regret things, for example, when someone passes away we stay crying over  the dead body, but we never realize that all those tears are fake, why didn’t we took some time when the person was living and show them some love? That’s what I mean. I treat people the way they treat me since for me, that’s the way to go.

     I can use my strength to be a better person in the future since with love and good communication, we get almost everything we want.

     I can improve my weaknesses to fight my nervousness in front of other people and to learn to joke around so I don’t get too personal on others.

     My current role as a child is to respect and admire a woman. A woman that has given me life, because of her, I am who I am at this point in time. I love my beloved and unique mother. As a friend, I should always be there for others, to advice them, to help them with their problems, to be trustworthy and never ever betray them. As a partner, when I get the right guy for me, I must be faithful and loyal to him but never let him use me the way he wants to, respect one another and have some time with him if it is possible. As a parent in the future, I should put a good example for my kids to follow, to show them love and respect so I get the same thing in return. In my job that in the future I will get. To be loyal, flexible, and to do only my best.

Precious

Mariela Marin                                                                                   Personality Development 275

      CJC                                                                                                         February 11, 2011

1.      What were the factors that contributed to Precious low self-esteem?

·         the factors that contributed Precious to have a low self-esteem is that her mother lived in telling her that she is a good for nothing, that she is dumb, and when a person tells those negative remarks to an individual that person actually believes that he/she is a good for nothing causing a low self esteem. Another factor is that her father abused her several times making her feel she is useless and worthless and have that mentality that she is dirty from the inside and there is no way she is going to be the same person she was before causing her, again, to have a low self esteem.

2.      What signs of low self esteem did Precious display?

The signs of low self esteem that Precious displayed are:

·         Fear

·         Pain, Guilt

·         Public Speaking (not clear)

3.      What defense mechanism did Precious use to avoid dealing with pain? Give Examples.

·         The defense mechanism Precious uses are:
Denial- she didn’t accept that she needed help in her life where she has been abused.

·         Reaction Formation- where Precious always seemed to be the person that is down to earth and serious, not knowing the life she was going through.

4.      What neurotic need did Precious over- used or display? Give examples.

·         The neurotic need that Precious over used is:
Neurotic Need for self-sufficiency and independence. I believe this is the NN that Precious over use since she used to distance herself a lot from the others and she never asked for help and even when help used to come by her, she refused it.

5.      What helped Precious increase her self esteem?

·         the one thing that helped her with her self esteem is the school that she started to attend, the teacher and the girls who with their kindness helped her a lot that made her fight for her two children and move on without her mother.

6.      What signs of higher self esteem did Precious display?

·         The signs that Precious display that her self esteem was increasing are:

·         She started interacting with others, feeling she can make friends easily

·         She started to do better in school where she started to write and read more often

·         She stood up for herself whereas she left the hell of home she was living in and went to finds help.

7.      What did you learn from the movie?

·         There are many things I learnt from the movie. To start with, I am thankful that I have never been through what Precious and many other people had to go through in life. I learnt that no matter how deep we are in a situation, how dark our days might be, there are always ways in getting out of the hole we are placed in. life is like a roller coaster, sometimes we are up and sometimes we are down. We just have to help ourselves in getting out of any difficult situation that we are living in to see the light that will make us shine someday.

8.      Would you recommend the movie to others? Why?

·         I, personally, would strongly recommend the movie to others because it shows what real life is, life is not always sweet and people like me who hasn’t went through those things realize that people out there are suffering and we should always be more than willing to help them, and for the ones that are going through that situation, it makes them see that there is always a second chance in life and everyone deserves to be happy.

Who I Was

Mariela Marin

CJC

PD275

Who I Was

     My name is Mariela Esperanza Marin; I live in the Trial Farm Village, Orange Walk District. I’m presently eighteen years old; my birthday is on the 29^th of October and my horoscope sign is Scorpio. I attended Trial Farm Government School then went on to Orange Walk Technical High School and now I am in Corozal Junior Collage. I am the fourth of the five children my parents have. Up to this day, I can proudly say that I am proud of all the achievement that I have made come true, for example, reaching at this level of education since from all my sisters, I am the only one that is getting an education.

      I have many things that I try forgetting and moving on so I have a healthy life. One of the things I somehow can’t forget is the trauma of how my dad was when he was drunk and even sober. I grew up in domestic violence and it is hard enough to forget those scary things. I remember my dad wanting to murder me and my little brother because he said we were not his children but, come on! We both have our father’s mask. That’s the past so we have to try forgetting and forgiving what my dad made us go through.

     There are many ups and downs in every one’s life and my one isn’t an exception. The happiest moment of my life is when I saw my nephew Brayden for the first time, he is very handsome, and my gorgeous niece Jaylin as well. Those are the two moments I will never forget since they mean a lot to me and my family. The saddest moment of my life was for this past Christmas. I say this because Christmas is the time where family and friends get together to share the best of moments together, somehow, I couldn’t live that moment this Christmas because none of my sisters was with us, for me they totally forgot us and it just breaks my heart not seeing them for that night. There are times I have felt fear in my life, as a kid I was when I was eight years old, I used to be very mischievous and that lead me to almost lose my life. Luckily I learnt a lesson. It was one day I was climbing a tree to get a guava and for greediness of getting the biggest fruit, I went about way on the top of the tree not noticing the branch I was standing, was about to break. The thing was that I fell and it was about 20feet high. I dropped on top of rocks causing me not to be able to breathe. Oh men! That was very scary, knowing your life can go just because of a fruit. Thank God I’m alive to tell you the story. I have been embarrassed a lot in the past, present and I think that I will always be embarrassed in my life due to the fact that I’m very thin and short. What people cannot understand is that it’s in my jeans, I do eat, and a lot as well but I just can’t gain weight. One thing about me is that I don’t care what people have to say about me. I don’t live for no one to like me. It’s like mind over matter. I don’t mind and they don’t matter to me.

      A life changing moment for me was when I got into my first relationship. There I found out many things I didn’t know and also I experience what people say about “heartbroken”. Form that relationship onwards I learnt not to give almost my all in love but to try limit myself in it; in other words, to love with my brains and not with my heart.

     The people that have always influenced me to continue and make the best of best of my life is my mother, sisters and little brother, my friends, some teachers and cousins. Thanks to them I am who I am today. Especially to my mother, who I see and consider a role model, the best mother in the world. They always push me to positive things, they always bring me up when I am feeling down they are the best for me. I really don’t know what I would have done without them. They are like my guardian angels that illuminate my darkest days with their love and care. That’s just about me and hopefully God continue giving me life to cherish every moment I have with my dear loved ones…

Just About Me

Mariela Marin                                                                                                        Journal #1

Just About Me

     From my eighteen years living in this world, I have obviously noticed many negatives things I have that makes me, me. From all the ten mechanisms, I have two of them that I use the most. One of them is Reaction Formation. I would say I am very sarcastic in my life. Most of the times I act as if I am so happy when deep down, I feel like if I am dying. This is because life has many obstacles that sometimes are hard or impossible to go through. The other one is Sublimation, I always look at what society thinks first then I do it just to please them and not myself. For example, I never go out at parties or stuff like that because I was grown that descent girls should stay at home but the reality is that it is annoying to do it for others and not for ourselves. One of the mechanisms I would want to use a little bit more is Suppression. This is because I find it hard to forget things that keep bothering me day by day. An example of it is that I always tend remember all the problems that I have at home and to make it worse, my past boyfriend. I want to implement that in my life in order for me to move on and be successful in life.

     For the Neurotic Needs, I have many things to say. I would say that I use the Neurotic Need for affection and approval. This is because I am the kind of person that is always there for my friends and I want them to be there for me so that they can cheer me up just like I cheer them up when they are feeling down. Another thing is that when I am in a relationship, I am convinced that it is puppy love but somehow I feel like if when I am not with my boyfriend I am incomplete, so down and lonely. It is something hard to explain.  Another one that I apply a lot in my life is the Neurotic need to restrict one’s life within narrow borders. I am not like the other type of girls that live for fashion and material stuff. I don’t ask for non of those things, I am satisfied to wake up every morning and making our short life the best and not focusing in what others are dying for. For example, shopping and having a touch screen phone. I mean, we are valued on what we have inside not outside. One Neurotic Need that I would like to implement more in my life is the Neurotic Need for self-sufficiency and independence. This is because I need to start facing reality, that my friends and family wont be with me forever and I should start seeing thins fro a different perspective where sometimes we have to live for our own selve